Preparing to Leave

I am happy to report that I am feeling pretty much the same. Since I am not having significant pain, that is good news. I have been enjoying these days without the intense pain.

Because I am going to San Francisco, I decided not to worry about getting my blood tests done because they will test my blood again when I get there. Instead, I got a good nap this afternoon, which I think was a more efficient use of my time. The trip to San Francisco is really hard on me and it takes me a few days to recover from it. I don't want to start the trip being worn out. I will be glad to have the doctor take a good look at my drains because one of them has been leaking and I will feel better when I get it checked out. David and I will leave on Wednesday afternoon to drive there, and hopefully will be released on Friday if all goes well. I'll update as soon as I'm able.

Thank you for your prayers and kindness. It is heart-warming to see how many people have shown such genuine love and concern for our family during this time. We really appreciate it.

Feeling Good

I am feeling pretty good today. Even though I am feeling good, it's not like feeling normal. I still have the back pain and I still can't move to well, but it is better than how I was feeling a week ago. Like last night, I wasn't able to stir my brownies well enough to get everything mixed in and I couldn't get the pan out of the cupboard. David had to help me, but I was glad to be able to make a treat for my family.

My right side has stopped draining again. I'm not worried about it because I will be getting thoroughly checked out by the doctors in San Francisco on Thursday. I think I need to have my blood tests done early this week.

I had some friends come over to decorate my front porch with beautiful mums and fall decorations. It looks so nice! I had another friend bring my family delicious treats from Apple Hill. Thank you for taking such good care of me and remembering me. I appreciate it so much!

Family Day

My pain level has continued to be lower than usual and I really enjoy it after having such bad pain for a while. This evening the kids were all here, including Alex, and they each had a friend or two over. We watched a movie together, then some of them went to get pizza. I even felt good enough to make brownies. Even though I don't have the energy or strength I used to have, having them here reminded me of the way things were before all this sickness started.

Potassium and Surgery

It is Thursday already and what a nice day for me, the cleaning lady was at my house today! My mom is here, she is coming on Thursdays and staying until Friday evening. It is nice to have her here to help out and keep me company. We even took a drive today to grab lunch and then drove to the park to eat in the car.

My pain level is still good. I am having more pain in my back, but the excruciating pain in my abdomen and side is still gone. I had my blood tests done and my bili was an 8.8, which is too high for chemo this week. We found out that my potassium level is down. When I asked what that means, the nurse said it means I could have a heart attack of all things! However, I am treating this by upping my potassium intake with food (bananas, cantaloupe, avocados, etc.) so they must not think a heart attack is right around the corner for me.

Next Wednesday David and I will head back to San Francisco for a stent replacement surgery. They like to re-do them every couple of months, plus one of my stitches has come out, so I guess it is time to have this done. David says this should be easier since it is the third time and I probably won't need the anesthesia. Yeah right - I don't want to take that chance! The new stents should make my bilirubin count come down, so I may be able to have chemo again the following week. I feel strong enough for chemo, but I really am skin and bones right now. The appetite stimulant is working well, and I feel like I am eating more, but the doctor told me it will be really hard at this point with my cancer to just maintain my weight and I am not likely to gain any. But it is nice to be able to eat, and I plan to continue eating as much as I can.

Small Miracles

Today has been a good day with my pain -- or lack thereof! I have been able to eat, so I guess the appetite cocktail is working for me. I am trying to drink several Ensures a day in addition to eating more. My swelling is still under control. My legs are swelling a little, but it isn't painful and it isn't as bad as it's been previously. Also, much to my surprise, the bili tube on my right side started draining today. It hasn't drained for a while, but for some reason the draining started again. I can't explain it, but I am pretty happy about it.

Pain-Free Day

I don't know why, but I am having a pain-free day. The pain in my side and stomach were getting less yesterday, and today even the pain in my back is gone! I wish I knew what makes the difference because I would do that every day. I am sure enjoying it and I am trying not doing anything strenuous to ruin it (just clipping my toenails right now!)

I had an appetite stimulant from the doctor that I have been taking and it is helping. I have been eating better. The swelling in my feet is gone too. I can't account for these wonderful changes in how I'm feeling, but I am very grateful!

Better Day

Yesterday and today have been better with the pain. I still have pain in my right side, kind of in my rib cage and in my back, but it has decreased enough that it feels like I'm having some relief. I got my blood work done and my bili count was 7.9. That was a small drop from last week, but still not low enough for chemo today. I will be talking to the doctor to see if he has any instructions or suggestions for me.

The swelling in my feet and legs has also gotten better. I still have a lot of bloating in my stomach, but my feet didn't even swell when I was walking around barefoot last night. I was up for about three hours and they were o.k, so I'm pretty happy about that. I am hoping to get some appetite, right now I am forcing the food because I know I need it.

Thank you for your prayers and kind words, they make a difference for me.

Sleeping Through The Pain

I wish I had better news to report because there are so many kind people who are concerned about me. My pain at least as bad and I really think it is worse today. I have been sleeping a lot because it is the best way I know of to deal with the pain. I don't even need sleeping pills, I am just able to sleep and when I do, I don't think about the pain. When I am awake my whole back and side just burns with pain. I am also having a really dry mouth, which may be partly because I'm not drinking enough. Even though I have a glass of water on my nightstand, it is hard to reach it because of the pain. My mother-in-law has been over all day today. That helps out a lot. She made a nice ham and scalloped potatoes dinner and I am planning to enjoy it with my family. I am trying to eat, but again, I have no appetite.

I will be talking to the doctor in a few days. I am supposed to have blood work on Wednesday, but that will depend on my pain level. The doctor hopes I can have chemo again on Thursday, which seems really optimistic to me. I will feel pretty good if I am able to have my lab work on Wednesday.

Test Results

I got my blood work results back, my bili count was 8.3. That's not as low as last time, but it is lower than many of my previous blood test results. I wasn't expecting it to be as low as last time, that really took my by surprise. It just goes to show you that you never know. I'll get another round of blood work done next week. Dr. Abrass is hoping I can have chemo next week.

I have really been in a lot of pain today. The muscle relaxers haven't made any noticeable difference in my pain. I am on the maximum amount right now and I am having a lot of pain down my back and into my side and abdomen. I am just trying to get through the day. I think some of the pain comes from laying down so much. It's a catch-22 because I lay down because it makes the pain better, but I think laying down makes me have more pain when I have to get up. I don't know what else to do with the pain, We'll see how the day goes and I guess time will tell.

Blood Work

I got my blood work done today, but have no results yet. Of course I am hoping for good news, but we'll see what the numbers are. I talked to the doctor today and he perscribed a muscle relaxer for it, in addition to what I am already taking. I hope that does the trick. My swelling is about the same. I got a nap this afternoon, which is a good thing because I know I need the extra rest. Other than that, today was just a normal day, or at least as normal as my life is these days.

Back Pain

Today was really just more of the same. My pain is getting worse. It is a burning pain that goes from my mid - upper back down to my tailbone. I called into the doctor, but I never heard back from him. So I increased my pain medication on my own, but kept it still within the limits prescribed by the doctor. I'm just not taking the upper limit because I hate to take so much medication. It helped with the pain in my stomach, but it really didn't seem to do much for my back pain. My swelling is about the same today. I had a some friends bring a delicious lunch and I got a chance to visit for a little while. I also took a nap this afternoon. The nap was especially nice because not only do I need the rest, but it is the only relief I get from the pain. Tomorrow I hope to talk to the doctor about this pain.

Labor Day

It was nice to have David and the kids around today. The kids did homework and chores and David was on call, so he was in and out too, but I enjoyed their company when they were around. I am finally feeling a little less tired. However, I am having a cramping, grabbing pain in my stomach and back. I have tried to be up on my feet a little more today, or at least sitting in a chair instead of laying down. Staying down helps my swelling, but it is hard when I am down all day to get up when I need to with the pain. Despite being up more today, the swelling in my legs is better. My feet are swollen, but not up to my knees. I am trying to eat more and I know I need to be better about drinking my Ensures!

I will be talking to the doctor tomorrow. I'm pretty sure he will want me to have blood work this week. I am going to talk to him about upping my pain meds again. I hate to be taking so much medication, but my pain is increasing, so I think my medication has to increase too.

Still Tired

I was Rip Van Winkle today, sleeping most of the day away. It is hard to be so sleepy all the time, I am missing so much! I feel like I have no choice but to sleep. Being down helps my swelling, so my feet and legs feel better today. When I am up they swell all the way up to my knees. I have a dull ache in my side, but it is tolerable. I am sticking to my schedule of pain meds.

My Home health nurse came on Friday and helped me with my bandages. I had questions about the swelling which she was able to answer. The fluid that causes all this swelling is just part of my liver not functioning. I don't think it will get better; I actually expect it to get worse.

I got to see Alex briefly on Friday, which was good. She went to the football game on Friday night, as did my other kids. They enjoyed the game and it was good to hear about a Greenwave win!

Getting Better

Today was a good day. I am finally feeling better and more energetic. I have been up a little bit more and I have been able to eat. I am having major swelling problems, up to my knees! I still have the pain in my side, but I am trying to ignore it. My home health nurse has been keeping in touch with me and that is very comforting to have her checking up on me at home. My plan for the weekend is just to rest and eat so I can regain some strength, then we'll see what the doctor orders for next week.

Thank you all for being the most supportive friends ever. You might think people would get tired of being so kind to my family in this ordeal, but we continue to be blessed by your kindness. Thank you for the meals, cards, love and prayers. We appreciate it!

New Pain

I did not get my blood work done today. I am still so exhausted from last week's chemo and I really need to get my appetite back so I can regain some strength. Then I can think about another round of chemo. I have slept a lot of the day today. I have a new pain in my left side, so we'll have to see how that develops.